Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Marriage and Sexual Orientation

I have been reading the postings of pro and cons for same sex marriage. What a sad commentary of our world today. While “we” (heterosexual white people) believe we have made such major strides in our lives, and we know better than others how they should live their lives, there are so many statistics to prove otherwise.  In the United States there is a divorce every 13 seconds.  That’s 6,646 divorces a day and 46,523 divorces a week. (The majority of these divorces are heterosexual white people as at the time of this statistical data collection for the most part same gender marriages were not recognized). 

Looking at our history might give a little insight: let’s see the idea of anything other than heterosexual relationship just doesn't make sense, really?  It was a only 148 years ago the color of my skin decided my worth and rights.  Women were looked at as the property of their husbands until about 1960 when the feminist movement finally got a foothold and women began to raise their voices so their voices could be heard, a short 53 years ago, when white heterosexual males knew better than any female what was best for women. Yet in 2013 we still need shelters for those who need to escape their own homes in order to be safe.
Have we learned nothing from all the oppression that humanity has placed on humanity all because it was my misfortune to have been born, female, a person of color or have a different sexual orientation?  The definition of humanity is: The human race; human beings collectively; the fact or condition of being human.  I don’t see anything in that definition that says unless your sexual preference is anything other than heterosexual.

Following the link below you will find all types of statistics about Domestic Violence in our nation, another example of how well we (heterosexual white couples) are doing it right.  I see real life examples everyday of these statistics as I work for a batterer’s intervention program.  I hear horrifying stories of lives that are torn apart from the violence in their homes. Yet “we” (heterosexual white couples) have the audacity to stand up and tell others we know better than they know about whom they are and who they should or should not love.

This link gives the statistics of domestic violence for America Domestic Violence Fatalities and Homicides / Children Fatalities / Fatality Review  http://www.ncdsv.org/publications_domhomicide.html

I pray for the day when we truly see each other as equal people with feelings, dreams and hopes, rather than pointing our finger to say what is wrong in another.  I need first to look in the mirror and take a personal inventory of my own life.  Today as yesterday and the day before that, I choose to live by the true meaning of the “Golden Rule” to the very best of my ability.  For me, that means accepting others the way they are.  At the end of the day I know I can rest well having done so.