Be Kinder Than Necessary

Be kinder than necessary ", ( words to live by ) ~~ said a family member of one of the Charleston nine -- who's family member was killed inside of the church !! ~~~ May God richly bless her !!! ` These precious souls never cease to amaze me with their love, and forgiveness, and great wisdom (as posted on my friend Carolyn’s page FB).

 This posting prompted thought within me as to how this is only the tip of the iceberg for the African-American people.  African-American people have spent a life time of being kinder than necessary to people who weren’t kind to them. They have been forced to accept and live with what was forced upon them.  African’s were living their lives and happy in their home land, then white men stalked them, trapped them, brought them to the United States where they were bought and sold, beaten and raped.  Even when they married they were always at risk of being separated at the whim of a master they didn’t ask for or want. Their children were taken from them; they were forced to watch as their own were tied and beaten.

Today the African-American neighbor still struggles to be called equal to be seen as worthy, to fight for freedoms which by constitution should already be theirs. We watch daily African-American men compete and try and are still told they aren’t enough and then are called lazy and useless. I ask how many others would survive the message of hundreds of years of being told “not good enough?”

Today I stand humbly next to my African-American friends and pray for them and for myself.  I pray that all humans will one day walk in love, peace and acceptance of one another.  Love is the most powerful essence in the world. When we find a way to spread truth, love and compassion as easily as we spread hate and destruction what a different world this will be.

Mattie

Parenting or Abuse

With all the publicity the mother of the Baltimore teen that grabbed him, punched and threw him into a fence I find this an opportune time to offer another point of view.  Many people still believe hitting your child (and only your child the neighbor child is off limits), is a good from of discipline. I offer this for consideration.

Children learn from parents, not just by what the parent says, but also by what the parent does. Children learn respect based on the respect in the home.  When I correct my child do I respect them in the process?  If I yell or spank I do not show my child respect?  I do however get them to stop the behavior not because they respect me, but rather they are afraid of me.  

Punishment for inappropriate behavior still needs to respect the child.  If I were misbehaving would I want someone to hit or spank me, to yell or scream at me? NO! So why would I believe it would be okay to do the same to my child? When parenting with respect I teach my child respect. I teach them how to respond to others when others are not being respectful.  I teach them to think about their actions (what they say, what they do).  I teach them to listen to their own conscience as to what is right and wrong in order for them to choose a better path.  Children learn how to act from their parents.  If I wouldn't want something said or done to me, then why would I say or do it to my child?

Parenting with integrity requires a whole new set of ideas and options.  I have to be creative and I have to be willing to spend the time it takes to "teach" a child, not just boss them around. If this mother had been videoed hitting any child but her own, the conversation around her actions would be completely different. She would have most likely been arrested.

Treat others the way I want to be treated is a great guide-line for all of us.  I don't know where the exception came from that gives an exception if it is my own child the transgression is against. Spare the rod and spoil the child doesn't mean to hit them.  It does mean to guide them in the directions you want them to go.

Note to the media and CBS in particular:  When listening to the morning broadcast today (April 29, 2015) I was amazed at the way the news anchors encouraged her actions and even cheered her own to possible be the "mother of the year".  If this is what mother of the year looks like, I don't want to be one.

What do my thoughts produce for me?

Thoughts held in mind produce like kind (Unity).  A belief I hold to and have even proven to myself is true.  One of the reasons I try to only post positive thoughts and encouragement each day.  I only want good thoughts held in my own brain.  As I am human and still think negatively from time to time, I have learned to recognize those negative thoughts sooner and switch the path to a different topic and direction.  My conscience is my guide and living to my highest good is important to me.

It occurs to me that I and others I know or have had contact with, use the cloak of humor and satire to disguise the negative thoughts that create the negative actions.  We say unkind things about others and ourselves and write it off to “it was joke” wow, just lighten up don’t take it so serious.

Age is the one that stands out most to me today.  If I were to believe all the messages media (TV commercials, posts about getting old, and the losses associated to the process) I’m not sure I would want to get up in the morning.  My two step plan is this I am skipping over as many of these posts on my FB page as I can. If one catches my eye and I do read it (sometimes I just can’t help myself-excuse for not following my plan) my step two is to think in a positive manner of what I just read.

Example: You know you are getting old when “The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife”.

 My response:  How fortunate to have a husband that cares this much for me after all these years.

                                                                                                                       

We all need a chuckle now and again and to be honest I enjoy a few of these from time to time, I just don’t make them a daily diet.  I don’t let them linger in my mind to become my belief about me and my life. So as we post each day, let us try to keep the humor and thoughts at a higher level lest it drags us to the bottom.

Today’s thought held in mind:  I breathe in and feel the knowing of life and its infinite possibilities no matter my how long the road of my journey has been.

Unity, A Course In Miracles, Abraham are you Crazy?

Over the past few days I have read many articles in disagreement with "A Course In Miracles, Abraham Hicks, organizations (churches) like Unity (where I attend) just to name a few.  Many believe all of the aforementioned are no more than cults and anyone following their beliefs and teachings are simply cult members being lead around by our noses.

One such article suggests "if you can't prove it, it isn't true".  Hmmm.... the only requirement in any of these alternative beliefs is that one explore and determine for one's self what one decides to believe in.  I also notice many of those authors spewing concern and outrage at the fact I might have a different view of my own life and belief system would have me choose a "religion" based in fact and connected to a respectful and recognized sect such as Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, First Christian"... you get my point. How many can "prove" the parting of the Red Sea, the burning bush Moses spoke to when he climbed that mountain, the crippled and maimed that Jesus healed when walking among us, his resurrection?  Are these not stories, ideas, beliefs that have been written down and in some cases many years after the fact? Are we not asked by the chosen few following strict doctrines, to believe and follow only what they as faith leaders want us to believe?  That to do otherwise will surely lead us to no good end and we will burn in Hell forever. One such leader said, to follow any idea other than the laws and beliefs of organized religion is to only be a lost sheep following other lost sheep and no good can come to me or anyone who strays from this straight and narrow path which has been so carefully laid for me to follow. Okay now I am really scared.

I have to wonder just what it is that intimidates them about me thinking there might be something different or better our there for me? Could it be my wondering from the flock lessens the control they once held over me. Following my heart and how I choose to believe in a God, Higher Power, or Spirit denies them what? Being a free thinking person with her own ideas, concepts and conclusions is a risky business. Following one's own heart isn't for the timid or meek I am telling you.

For many years I looked and desired to find something that made sense to me about how I felt and believed. I could never put it all together when sitting in the pew listening to the man in front of me saying I was no good and a sinner and if I didn't stop my evil ways God would surely send a lighting bolt from above and bring me to my knees. I can tell you as a ten year old this was a pretty scary message.  Why was it that a loving caring God would want to hurt me and punish me for not obeying rather than assist me in learning a better way?  When I remember the kindness and caring with which my own earthly father treated me even when I didn't always follow the rules, to hear this leader of God tell me how bad I was just didn't resonate with what I was feeling on the inside.

A few years ago I walked through the doors of Unity of Indianapolis where I was welcomed with open arms, no judgement and invited to simply be. "BE" in a place that was filled with unconditional love, encouragement to feel good about the me I knew I was, and to share the space with others like me. To this day no one has said "no you are wrong" and every week I am encouraged to question more and to find and follow my own path to happiness and well being.  I invite anyone reading this to take a step out of the fog open your mind and follow your heart for that is where true love and peace lives.  It is the acceptance of self and understanding it is okay to be a Spirit having an human experience that makes me happy.  Much love and light to you always.