For today I see conflict as growth, disagreement as learning. Today I affirm my strength in my faith that love is the answer and hope is the light which will lead me to a higher plain. I reach out and extend a hand to those in pain and need. Today I shall speak a message of good no matter what others may say or do. When one light shines in the night it draws more light and the darkness is cleared away and I can once more see. We must remember to keep walking towards the edge of the light, with each new step more light is there.
There have been moments in my life when I wasn't sure if I could continue. I can recall standing in the shower tears in my eyes and wishing it would all just go away. All the pain, all the turmoil, all the uncertainty. My faith was weak, I didn't feel loved, and love seemed a distant island in the abyss of nowhere. I was sure no one cared and if there was a God why was I so miserable?
Those days those thoughts are far and away in the shadowy mist of remembrance. I think about them from time to time and wonder how I ever got that low. What I didn't realize at the time was there were many who loved and cared about me, I just couldn't see them for living in this veil of self-pity and despair. There were very real problems in my life, but instead of seeking help and understand there is nothing we can't overcome when we set our minds to it, I continued to live in that dark unhealthy place.
After years of self-defeat and blaming others for my life circumstances, I met someone who became a friend, and confidant who was smart enough and bold enough to say to me, "stop buying corn flakes"...
Being very puzzled by his statement I asked him, "exactly what do you mean?" His response was this: It's like walking down the aisle in the grocery, your really tired of corn flacks every morning and you've written on your list to change the cereal. Find something different, something more to your liking. When you get to the cereal aisle you're prepared to find a new cereal, a cereal really different, but you're walking and walking, and you see this eye-catching new colorful box standing on the self in front of you. The packaging looks great and without paying attention to the contents, you put the brightly colored box in your cart and off you go. You're home now, you put your purchases away, and the next morning you are all prepared for this new treat. You're even thinking, oh I didn't even look to see what the cereal was, oh well anything will be better than corn flakes. You reach into the cabinet, pull the box off the self, you put your bowl on the table, get the milk out of the refrigerator, you are so excited for that first taste of something new. As you begin to pour the contents into the bowl the reality hits you. It's just cornflakes again, the box looked new, and you didn't look to see what the cereal was, and in your haste, for new and better you didn't do enough looking or paying attention to the contents. As you sit there, disappointment sets in and as you dip your spoon in the bowl you think to yourself, oh well this will have to do, corn flakes are better than nothing."
This simple analogy was a shock to my system as he spoke to me, he was able to get me to see more in the brief moment than all the searching I had done heretofore, looking for the answer out there in the unknown and in someone else, when it was right in front of me all the time. Only I could change my outcomes, only I had the power to improve my circumstances, only I could make me happy, only I could stop buying "corn flakes"!
How many of us have to spend a lifetime buying corn flakes wishing they were rice crispies? When we take control of our lives, stop accepting the same answers over and over again expecting a different outcome, which is the definition of insanity, we will find that which sustains us. When we turn inwardly and see ourselves and the possibilities that live within us, we can begin to see the world around us differently. We can find better solutions and answers that will take us in a completely different direction. When we look inside we can see the love that lives there, this love is the love that really matters the most. When I love myself my world changes. Those things I desire are waiting out there for me, and with a different sense of self-worth, I stop accepting what I don't want.
Blessings to all this day, enjoy some rice crispies, you deserve them.
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